Today is not the day I was hoping it was going to be.
With my chronic illnesses I don't have many hours a day to get stuff done, and so try to make the most of the time my body gives me.
I had plans today! (Sounds sinister, I like it!)
Unfortunately, those plans are on hold, causing an amount of stress because some of them are quite urgent.
You see, this weekend I did the irresponsible thing of walking to a book shop, and eating an ice cream. Not in the book shop, that would have been irresponsible, but on the way home.
I thought that as I had cancelled other things for that day, and rested the day before, that I would be OK. Ish.
Maybe I'd feel a little lousy the day after. Nope, I was bed ridden.
This morning I thought I had improved! I had a dentist appointment and woke up late (bank holiday so all the alarms were turned off).
That jolt of adrenaline gave me a false sense of health. Whilst the dentist appointment went well, once I got home it hit me hard, and I am yet in bed as I type this.
Why am I sharing this? I don't want "get well soon" comments, more than that, as someone with a chronic illness, I won't get well soon. And I know other chronic illness sufferers who find those words upsetting as I do.
No, I'm sharing this because there are millions of people around the world in the same boat as me, and it's something that is generally not thought about enough.
"I feel you, we all get tired" isn't the comfort people think it is. It minimizes the extreme pain and fatigue that I deal with daily, let alone on days like this.
I hope that tomorrow the flare up will have died down and I can spend 5 hours doing the things that I need to do. But I don't know, I never know.
I'm sharing so that hopefully others can see this and realize that they need to look after themselves. Or see a family member, friend, or colleague struggling and have better appreciation for what they are going through.
Chronic illness is somewhat of a silent destructive force for those who deal with it. Mostly silently, and very misunderstood by the world at large.
Look after yourself people.